Is selflessness the most important responsibility of a pastor
A Pastor is the in charge of a Christian Church who shares the vision and direction of the religious organization. Sharing the vision of the organization is, however, not the Pastor’s only priority or sole responsibility. Is there something bigger than holding onto the norms of an organization?
Before I begin my all-India cycle tour, I decided to bid farewell to all my friends and family. One of the people I consider my family more than a friend is Tiju Thomas, a Pastor at one of the churches in Bangalore. The gem of a person he is, I took the opportunity to learn a thing or two from my final interaction with him before leaving.
Being a non-religious person myself, I wanted to learn from the best in the field. Who better than a Pastor of a church to understand what their true responsibilities are? After the discussion, I walked out holding an entirely renewed perspective on who a Pastor is, and what his responsibilities are.
A Pastor is a guide to the large herd of people who needs guidance. He is the direction towards a better community that is hard to be foreseen otherwise. Above all, a Pastor helps grow the community selflessly, which is his biggest responsibility. Most people do not realize what selfless actions towards the betterment of society are. He is a standing example of how an individual should behave in society responsibly.
Justifications of a Pastor
I asked Tiju why he took up the role of a Pastor at the church. Without a thought in his mind, he replied saying that it was a calling from the lord. The lord simply wanted him to help the people in need.
He said that he orients his entire life towards helping the needy. The needy are not the ones who do not have money. They are the ones who simply lack direction in their lives and make mistakes without much notice.
He said most people do not realize the consequences of their actions. Being kind to one another is hard. It is his duty to help people realize the word of the lord, which is to ‘love thy neighbour as thyself’.
Most of us feel tired or worked up in our profession multiple number of times. I wanted to know if Tiju ever felt the same. On asking how much he willingly puts his effort into the profession, his reply floored me. Tiju insisted he would do a great deal more to people if he had the potential to. That quickly led me to the next question, which was to understand what the complaints of a Pastor are.
Complaints of a Pastor
Even before I asked this question, Tiju kept complaining multiple times about how people behave irresponsibly in society. It seemed as though he wants to set things right but he isn’t sufficiently able to. Tiju has taken up the responsibility of setting right the irresponsible action of people in society.
on asking what was the biggest complaint Tiju had in his life, he replied saying it was his indiscipline. He said, if he were to be disciplined, he would be able to contribute to society to a much larger extent. This reply just left me baffled.
While most of us complain about our own life and its deficiencies because of our selfish reasons, Tiju complained about his deficiency for selfless reasons. In fact that very morning, he said he had requested the lord to arrest him for his insufficiency. He was living in utter guilt that he could not do what the lord wills.
This summed it all up. A Pastor is someone who takes the responsibility to act selflessly for the betterment of society. He has to think less about himself and more about others. His selfless actions are governed by his biggest responsibility which is to help people and society grow for the better.
Validations of a Pastor
I asked Tiju if he indulges in any other activities outside the community. He replied that majorly his energy is mostly spent in building a responsible and selfless community at the church. All his validations of being a Pastor only come from his discussions on how much people’s lives can be improved.
When asked about what he usually tends to speak with them during a casual chat, he said it is mostly what people speak and nothing very different. Although he hopes that he could speak about the betterment of people’s lives more often, which he tries to. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always turn out that way. He certainly hopes that the discussion on that front would take place more often with increasing awareness of the reasons to visit the church.
Materialistic life a Pastor seeks
To understand if Tiju seeks something for himself apart from the good of others, I asked him what he would do if he was handed 10 rupees anonymously. Tiju said he would pray to the lord and ask for help. Ask the lord what he had to do with the money.
On increasing the stakes further to a very large amount, his reply didn’t seem to differ. He said he knew a large number of people in distress who could make use of the money. He would help them with what he gets.
These words were coming out of the person who has been wearing broken spectacles for the last entire year. Money didn’t seem to make him feel that he could fix his own life. It only provided him with an opportunity to execute his larger plans omitting his selfish fortune.
All the while when we had this discussion going on, Tiju’s wife with their 2-year-old daughter were around playing and partially listening to the conversation. Only when the issue of his broken spectacles came up did she intervene to share an appropriate incident in their lives.
After their child’s delivery, Tiju’s wife had been going through childbirth-related PTSD. For a year she kept it to herself not revealing it to Tiju. When she finally revealed it to him after a year, his immediate reply was “Oh! Now I understand what it is for people to go through such pain after delivery”.
Even when his wife was facing a tough situation in her own life, Tiju extended his learning to sympathize with a larger view in mind. Somewhere inside, although she felt bad for how he didn’t acknowledge her issues, she understands who her husband is.
She said it took some time to realize Tiju had dedicated his life for the reason of overall good. Now she lives with it supporting him. She said she loves him for his selflessness more than anything.
As I was having the conversation with Tiju’s wife, realizing that the questions that were posed were relevant and answered a lot about himself, Tiju broke down. Tears trickled down his eyes. That was the moment I realized who a Pastor is. A person who compromises and sacrifices the good of his own life for the betterment of others.
Selflessness is truly indeed the biggest responsibility that a Pastor takes up. If this realization occurs to many people in society, it will tend to make society more cooperative and a better place to live at.
I had only one last question for Tiju. How much does he think he can change people and society for the better? After all, he is a human being and he has to be limited in his potential.
Tiju gave an analogy of a kid who kept throwing sea shells into the ocean. On being asked why the kid kept throwing the sea shells into the ocean, the kid replied saying he wanted to save as many lives as possible. Although there is an innumerable count of sea shells on the shore, saving the lives of as many as possible, is probably the true purpose of somebody who intends to save lives. Tiju said he will do as much as he can and that is his role in the universe.
On the scale of selflessness and intentions of overall good, Tiju scored 5 on 5 in every box of life. This discussion shared with him impacted me deeply. He makes me want to aspire to be like him. His purpose of throwing the sea shells back into the ocean helped me in my life. I’m glad that I could be in line with it.
As I am heading out on the all-India cycling journey, he prayed for me and wished that the lord would be with me and help me in my travel. I left his place with a gleaming smile on my face, extremely glad that I could have the conversation and that I have him in my life.
If you have ever wondered who a pastor is, next time you speak with one, ask them about all the justifications they make, validations they seek, the complaints they have, and the materialistic life they yearn. If you are speaking with the right person, you will be able to see through them as to the human being they are. An exceptional kind.
I am a 31 year young PhD graduate who has decided to travel the length and breadth of India on my cycle, to document the journey of meeting a vast array of people. In my journey, I intend to understand the characteristic features of the people of this nation and categorize them based on their demographics, age, profession, gender, traditions, and cultural differences.
This story makes one think deeply. Makes me wonder if I am also one of the sea shells on the floor waiting for the kid…or should I take up the role of the kid and start picking up sea shells.