How is the life of a lady who completes her education after having her first kid in India?
For some of us, attaining education is a way of life, while for many it is a privilege. This is the thing I learnt from speaking with the lady who completed her education after having her first kid. Rural parts of India still fail to see women being well-educated. Those especially brought up in tough situations skip it entirely.
On my all-India cycle tour, I had the pleasure of meeting Maheshwari Chougule who completed her education despite all odds and situations turning against her. The best part is that she did it without even realizing that she when through hardships. She accepted them so wholeheartedly that she didn’t find any of the situations hard.
The aspect most impressive about her was that, apart from completing her education, she even aced in her college and today runs an IIT – JEE tutorial centre for kids. I curiously trotted into her mind space as I spoke with her. Every single thing she had to say, only fed my curiosity and fed it well. So how is the life of a lady who completes her education after having a kid?
Beginnings of a lady who completes her education after having her first kid
Brought up in the village of Nipani along with her brother, Maheshwari’s parents were into farming. Her parents had the opportunity to only educate only one of their children and they chose it to be her brother. Maheshwari had to compromise on her education, as her family was in a financial struggle at the time.
When I became interested in listening to her story, I could see the spark in her eyes. She sat up straight and felt excited to share her stories. She said she completed both her 10th and 12th with 65% and 67% marks respectively. I could see a kid being excited about having got a bar of chocolate in her the moment she spoke about her marks. Between 1999 and 2005, there was a severe drought in Nipani, which is the northernmost part of Karnataka, sharing its border with Maharashtra. Despite all the difficulties, Maheshwari took up the challenge. She learnt stitching from her aunt and started earning a tiny tad bit of money. Her interest in education also allowed her to get a D.Ed. seat with low fees which she completed in 2 years. She would stitch clothes in the morning and earn as much as 50 rupees a day and then head to college, return and do the house chores. She said that she did this even after joining as a school teacher after her D.Ed education. She would earn 3000 rupees a month. While many would claim this as a hardship in life, Maheshwari spoke as though it was nothing and that she could do more if given the opportunity.
She graduated from 12th in 2005. Post her D.Ed education, she worked as a school teacher for several years during which there was a complete break from education. She eventually married in 2013 and had her first kid in 2015 after which she decided to enrol for a bachelor’s in Engineering degree.
Why decide to complete her education after having her first kid?
Married to an assistant professor at Mumbai University, Prof. Santosh Chougule was sitting right beside listening to us speak all the while. When I asked her why she decided to get educated after such a long education break, she gestured at him.
Prof. Santosh said he had noticed her talents from the time he had seen her and had the belief that if she wished, she could easily complete her degree. Moreover, he always wished that he could marry a woman who was educated. It was his dream. He asked her if she wanted to complete her degree and that he would support her with it. He asked her to quit her school job which she got from D.Ed and asked her to go ahead and enrol to BE.
How does it go about for a lady who decides to complete her education after having her first kid
Maheshwari returned to her mother’s house where she even got her kid when she was 6 months old. Her mother would take care of her kid while she could attend college which was 6 Km away from home. As Maheshwari had a vehicle of her own and needed money for petrol and other stationary requirements during college, she would request her husband for the same. While her husband asked a hundred questions as to why she needed money, her husband’s mom simply slipped double the amount of money required from behind.
She never spoke about any difficulties once during our entire interaction. She only spoke about how she enjoyed doing all this. She mostly remembered all these sweet gestures and omitted the hardships entirely. That hinted to me what is required of a lady to be capable of completing her education after having a kid.
Maheshwari even proudly told me that she was either the topper or the second in every semester of course. Soon after the course was done, she earned a job in Accenture, Bangalore through campus placement which she didn’t take up as her husband loved in Maharashtra and they had to be together.
How is the life of a lady who completes her education after having her first kid in India?
Maheshwari told that right after completing her education, she returned home and started her teaching job. She didn’t wait for too long. Within a year, she earned back all the money she had borrowed from her husband for her education and even returned it.
She told me about a story of a kid who had failed in his first year of engineering degree and his rich father was desperate to have him clear the exams. Maheshwari helped him clear all his backs and even fare well in all the subjects. This seemed so impressive to the parent that he came to her house and handed her 1.25 Lakhs cash for the help she had offered to him.
The mindset of the lady who decides to complete her education after having her first kid
By now I had already come to the realization that Maheshwari wasn’t a person who complained much. She took up challenges enjoying them. That was the signature trait that had allowed her to do as much in life. My curiosities further drew me into asking her questions which allowed me to get insights into her psychology. Every bit of what I learned is something I will carry with me for a long time to come. I was thoroughly impressed with what she had to say.
Justifications
When I asked her why she decided to get educated and do everything she is doing today, she simply said “My skills have to be put to use”. “As a human, it is our duty to work. Work is simply a workshop and if I spend 100 rupees tomorrow, I must have earned it myself. Not have it taken from my dad or my husband”, she told.
Yet again, to make the situation light, Maheshwari wittily added “My husband invested in me thinking that I am a winning horse. Although I am thankful for the financial and mental support, I don’t ever want him to tell me that it is because of him that I got educated”.
As this conversation was going on, her mom who was listening to the conversation all along interrupted and told me that even to date Maheshwari takes care of her parent’s bank work and other related stuff. Prof. Santosh added that she does the same for him as well. All financial decisions are taken by her as she is the best at it. He said that he doesn’t have to put his head into anything as she is very well capable of handling everything in the best possible way. He summarized by saying “Her knowledge to profit conversion factor is really high”. If she has acquired any knowledge, she puts it to the best possible use.
Maheshwari simply told that she learnt that from her dad who never distinguished her from her brother and taught them equally on financial aspects of life.
Validations
Maheshwari said everything she has done until now is for her dad and mom. However, whoever comes in touch with her in her life, she tries to help them with all her skills.
Complaints
As expected, Maheshwari gestured at me as though why even I was asking this question. She said, “Whatever I want, God will give it to me if I work for it. Whatever I have today, a lot of people don’t. What do I complain about?”.
She also added that life is all about compromise and sacrifice. If one doesn’t do it, they will only end up hurting themselves. “If I want a car today, I can’t have it. But if I need it I can work for it. Until then, it is a compromise I am willing to make” she summarized.
Materialism
Maheshwari told that if she is given money, it will help her run her family easily. That will provide her ample space to teach kids without taking much money. Prof. Santosh again interrupted and told me that she never tells the parents to pay her any prescribed amount of money. They are free to pay her as much as she likes. Upon being forced and asked how much she is supposed to be paid, she tells the parents that they can go back and research to see how much is usually paid in the market for IIT – JEE tutorials. They are free to pay less or more. It is simply their choice. Even better, at times she tells them that they can wish to pay as much as they want based on the results of the kids who go to her tuition.
She even told that there have been cases where kids who couldn’t pay money came back and paid to her after joining graduation. “If I get some money, I can teach kids freely”, she said.
Given a larger sum of money, Maheshwari told that she would want to start a hospital and a school which would offer free healthcare and education. The answers were impressive.
All the while her mom had been waiting for her to have food. The tradition at their house was such that they ate after the hosts did. That was their tradition. When I apologized to her mother for holding her daughter back without realizing she hadn’t had lunch, she asked me not to. She told she too was listening to the conversation and wanted to know what her daughter had in her mind. When I asked what she made of the conversation, she said “I feel contented and satisfied that I gave birth to her listening to my answers. I enjoyed listening to her speak”.
I could see where Maheshwari had derived her behaviour and mannerisms from. As I was bidding farewell to the family, I snapped a pic of them together.
Resilience without complaint and deriving fun out of hardships in short is the trait of a lady who decides to complete her education after having her first kid. Comment below and let me know if you agree. If you enjoyed reading this article, kindly head to the homepage and subscribe to my newsletters.
I am a 31 year young PhD graduate who has decided to travel the length and breadth of India on my cycle, to document the journey of meeting a vast array of people. In my journey, I intend to understand the characteristic features of the people of this nation and categorize them based on their demographics, age, profession, gender, traditions, and cultural differences.
I have to admit, I felt a bit embarrassed that I have complained way too often in my life despite having many wishes fulfilled…a lesson to learn from Maheshwari mam