Life of an individual who runs a prostitution business by the national highway dhaba

Prostitution is an unfortunate reality that exists in various forms and settings across the world, and India is no exception. One particular context where this issue is observed is in the vicinity of highway dhabas, which are roadside eateries commonly found along major highways in the country. These dhabas, serving as pit stops for weary truck riders, sometimes become the backdrop for illicit activities, including prostitution.

During my all-India cycle tour, a fascinating encounter with Miss Rekha Takkur, the owner of a dhaba located along the Nagpur-Jabalpur highway in Madhya Pradesh, shed light on the complex world of highway dhaba prostitution. Contrary to my preconceived notions, Miss Takkur defied the stereotypes associated with this illicit business. Through our conversation, I came to understand that her involvement in the trade was not a mere result of opportunism, but rather a culmination of life experiences that shaped her resilience and perspective. It became apparent that external influences and personal circumstances played a significant role in shaping the character of someone who could openly operate in this controversial industry, with Miss Takkur firmly asserting that prostitution was a consensual activity between willing participants and that she merely acted as a mediator between two parties. This encounter challenged my preconceptions and highlighted the complex dynamics underlying highway dhaba prostitution.

Early childhood

Rekha’s early years were marked by significant challenges and emotional hardships. She was born in Nainapur taluk, Madhya Pradesh, and shortly after, she was taken to Kanojia village where her grandparents owned a substantial farmland of around 10-12 acres. Coming from a tribal background, Rekha belonged to a large family, comprising three elder brothers, one elder sister, and two younger sisters. Reflecting on her family’s circumstances, Rekha expressed deep sorrow, tearfully acknowledging that their lives didn’t have to be so difficult. The weight of her past experiences was evident as she struggled to articulate her thoughts through tears, hinting at the profound traumas she had endured during her childhood.

Rekha recollected that at the tender age of eight, her parents resorted to selling firewood they gathered from the forest, while she took on the responsibility of washing clothes and utensils for wealthier families. She vividly recalled the meager meals their family had, where a kilogram of rice was stretched by adding 15 liters of water, barely sustaining everyone. Her mother, Jankai Bhai, became involved in the village’s political landscape and even won the position of sarpanch due to her belonging to the reserved category. However, disillusioned by the politics and the exploitation of the underprivileged, Jankai Bhai stepped down from her role after three years, and the family returned to selling firewood. The impact of this event on Jankai Bhai was profound, leading to a gradual decline in her mental well-being. Her husband decided to stand by her as they relocated back to Nainpur. Meanwhile, all her elder siblings had married and moved away, leaving the responsibility of caring for the two younger sisters solely on Rekha’s shoulders when she was just twelve years old.

In the midst of these challenging circumstances, Rekha’s eldest brother offered to take care of one of the younger sisters, while the other stayed with their parents. At the young age of twelve, Rekha found herself orphaned and began working in farms to earn a meager income that barely sustained her day-to-day needs. She sought refuge in Indra-nivas, a government facility for the homeless, where she stayed while toiling on the farms during the day.

However, during this tumultuous period, her sister-in-law, who was responsible for looking after the youngest sister, subjected her to abuse and forced labor. The sister-in-law made her work as a laborer, providing only boiled rice as compensation, reminiscent of their meager meals from the past. Adding to the distress, the sister-in-law even went as far as adding tobacco to the rice stew to further torment the youngest sister. In the face of this mistreatment, the youngest sister sought solace in Rekha, informing her about the abuse she endured. Determined to protect her sibling, Rekha took it upon herself to care for her. Tragically, her brother arrived, verbally abused Rekha, physically assaulted her, and forcibly took the youngest sister away.

As Rekha faced this ordeal of abuse from her brother and sister-in-law, they demanded that she earn money and hand it over to them, as they intended to arrange her marriage. They believed that marrying her off would alleviate her burden of living alone and fending for herself. However, at just thirteen years old, Rekha questioned why she had to earn the money herself only for her brother and sister-in-law to claim credit for getting her married. Fueled by this realization, she made the courageous decision to distance herself from these oppressive individuals and ran away to Jabalpur, seeking a chance at a different life at such a tender age.

Childhood

Rekha’s life took a challenging turn when she arrived in Jabalpur at the tender age of 13. Struggling to make ends meet, she found herself working as a laborer on construction sites, relying on meager daily wages for survival. It was during this difficult period that a compassionate 32-year-old man, recognizing her vulnerable situation, extended a helping hand. He booked a room in a hotel for Rekha and took on the responsibility of ensuring her well-being.

The man happened to be a pandit, and as time went by, he developed feelings for Rekha. One day, he mustered the courage to express his love for her through a heartfelt letter. Rekha, however, was not interested in playing games or engaging in casual relationships. Instead, she responded honestly, expressing her desire to get married and spend the rest of her life with him. Despite pouring her heart out, Rekha received no immediate reply from the pandit.

Feeling uncertain and perhaps overwhelmed by her circumstances, Rekha made the difficult decision to leave the place and seek refuge in another hotel that catered to laborers. Little did she know that another predicament awaited her there. The hotel owner, an elderly man, took a liking to Rekha, as he had a son of marriageable age. Without Rekha’s consent, the owner secretly took her to meet his son, hoping for a potential match. Realizing the situation, Rekha swiftly escaped from the hotel, unwilling to be thrust into a marriage she had no say in.

Unfortunately, her misfortunes seemed to persist as she sought shelter in yet another room. Here, she encountered troubles once again, this time involving a local rowdy individual. With limited options and feeling trapped, Rekha carefully weighed her choices. She considered returning home, earning money to facilitate an arranged marriage arranged by her brother, marrying the 32-year-old pandit, agreeing to the proposal from the hotel owner’s son, or even seeking help from a local gangster.

Ultimately, Rekha chose to confront the pandit, opting to return and have a heartfelt conversation with him. In an effort to find clarity and resolution, she decided to face the situation head-on, hoping to gain a deeper understanding of their relationship and what the future held for them.

Rekha eventually married the Pandit who ran away from his house as the two belonged to different castes. Fearing that Rekha could leave him, he got her pregnant at the age of 14. The pandit eventually started abusing Rekha for having a girl child rather than a boy child. Their tumultuous relationship reached new depths of toxicity as the Pandit resorted to vindictive actions to inflict pain upon Rekha. He would bring other girls into their home and engage in flirtatious behavior with them, intentionally aiming to hurt and provoke Rekha. These distressing circumstances fueled numerous fights between them, creating an environment of constant turmoil.

Despite the ongoing conflicts, Rekha and the Pandit managed to have two more children, both sons, during their five years together. However, the addition of their sons did not alleviate the strain on their relationship. The battles and emotional abuse persisted, pushing Rekha to her breaking point.

Driven by her desperation to understand the cause of their strife, Rekha confronted the Pandit, imploring him to reveal his true desires and intentions. In a fit of rage, he callously responded that he never wanted to see her face again in his life, leaving her shattered and bereft of hope.

With her heart heavy and filled with determination, Rekha made the courageous decision to leave the home she once shared with the Pandit. Taking her three children with her, she embarked on a new chapter of her life, embracing the arduous existence of a laborer once again to provide for her family.

Adulthood

Rekha, at the tender age of 18, found herself shouldering the responsibility of providing for her three children by taking up laborious work once again. Over the years, she faced numerous challenges, but her unwavering determination propelled her forward. She shared that she was able to educate her eldest child up to the 10th grade and successfully arranged her marriage to a person in Bopal, securing her future.

Tragedy struck when her second child tragically lost their life at the age of 13 due to a snake bite, leaving a void in Rekha’s heart that would never fully heal. Her surviving son, now 18 years old, stands by her side and assists her in managing her dhaba.

Rekha proudly declared that she now owns a bungalow and operates her own dhaba, signifying the drastic improvement in her life. She spoke of her remarkable earning capacity, gesturing to convey how effortlessly she could generate substantial income, alluding to the possibility of engaging in illicit activities such as running a prostitution business. While she didn’t explicitly mention it to me, it was evident that Rekha had been exposed to darker aspects of survival, shaped by the traumatic experiences of her childhood.

Within the village, Rekha’s reputation as a resolute and formidable woman precedes her. She is known for her stern demeanor and the involvement in illegal activities, which seem to be driven by her determination to protect her livelihood. Fearlessly, she confronts and even physically confronts men who engage in brawls near her dhaba, establishing herself as a force to be reckoned with.

The mindset

Witnessing the immense resilience Rekha displayed in overcoming the profound traumas of her past left me astounded. Intrigued by her incredible journey, I felt compelled to delve deeper into her personal life and understand the remarkable person she had become.

Justification and validation

Throughout her life, Rekha found herself constantly driven by a sense of duty and responsibility towards others. She justified her actions and sacrifices by prioritizing the well-being and survival of those she cared about. As a young girl, she endured difficult circumstances and made choices based on the belief that her actions were necessary for her own survival and for the sake of her future husband.

Once married, her focus shifted towards her children. Rekha dedicated herself to providing for them and ensuring their well-being. She made sacrifices and faced hardships, always putting their needs before her own. Her decisions were motivated by a deep sense of maternal love and a desire to secure a better future for her kids.

In the process, Rekha may have neglected her own desires and personal growth. She acknowledges that she didn’t prioritize herself and that her actions were driven by a selfless dedication to her family. Her justifications stem from a strong sense of duty and a belief that her role in life was primarily to support and protect her loved ones.

Complaint

Rekha’s complaints stem from a deep frustration with the economic conditions she faced throughout her life. She believes that poverty played a significant role in the hardships she experienced and the wrongs that occurred. From her perspective, if poverty did not exist, many of the challenges and difficulties she encountered could have been avoided.

Materialism

If Rekha were to receive a substantial amount of money, her thoughts and desires indicate a longing for a period of personal indulgence and empowerment. After a lifetime of prioritizing the needs of others, she envisions a temporary role reversal where she can experience a life of luxury and have workers at her disposal to assist her.

Rekha’s desire to live like a queen suggests a yearning for a sense of authority and being the recipient of assistance rather than constantly being the one providing it. The idea of having workers treat her like a queen implies a longing for respect, admiration, and the ability to delegate tasks to others.

For Rekha, this desire is not born out of selfishness but rather a deep-seated need for self-care and a break from the hardships she has endured. It represents a longing to experience a different reality where her own needs and desires are prioritized for once.

As I prepared to depart, I seized the opportunity to ask Rekha if she had any words of wisdom or a message she wanted to share with others. Without hesitation, she responded with a powerful message that resonated with her own life experiences.

“Regardless of the challenges that life throws your way,” Rekha began, her voice brimming with conviction, “never retreat. I have learned that if you allow yourself to step back, you will be devoured by the adversities that surround you. But if you gather the strength to move forward, there lies the potential for a fulfilling life.”

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